It’s common knowledge that you shouldn’t go to bed with an empty stomach and a full head, if you want to get a good night’s sleep. So why not double up for the best night of sleeping in your life and since you have already emptied your head of any common sense why not fill your body with something greasy and good, and chances are you might feel a bit better in the morning because of it.
There are a few things to remember here, cooking at the end of the night is always fun, but can be very dangerous and chances are you will not be happy with yourself in the morning because your kitchen will look like Afghanistan., but to each his own. Pre-made wings, and things of that variety are good to make at home and you can usually limit the mess. Bacon eggs are always pretty easy too. Also beware when cooking because you are liable to pass out with an oven or stove on and burn your house down. Another tendency is to make way to much, if I woke up and found a plate of 6 pizza pops on a plate in some random place in the house, it wouldn’t be the first time, also wouldn’t be the last. I’ve also woken up with taquitos in my hands, ears, on my tummy and in my belly. I felt like a taco bell commercial. So just try and keep your wits about you when cooking at home.
A Safer bet is to try my top 3 choices for drunk-food.
1. Pizza Corner: You literally can’t go wrong with pizza corner, three great choices for places to get a slice, and while it is debatable which has the best, you’re grasping for straws trying to find any major difference between Sicilian, KOD or the other place. I personally prefer Sicilian for its loud music and great atmosphere chances are you will find someone you know there chowing down too. I recommend the BBQ it’s very hit or miss but when it’s on, IT’S ON. Also boosted police presence is always a good thing to avoid any scuffles when people start crying about spilt donair sauce.
2. Revannas: A D-Town favorite a place where you can always get great service, my favorite pizza girl works there, she is da best hands down. And doesn’t shy away from photo ops either. Cops have agreed with me that this is the best place to get a donair, they have some kick to them and my girl will make them custom however you like. Slime also always raves about their pizza sub, all though it often tends to be more like a rant. There is however an unfortunate downside of revannas. A lot of jerk cabs don’t like to stop there to get your fix. So unless you’re at the Celtic Corner, you are probably going to really have to inconvenience yourself to get to it. They are also open very random hours sometimes you can call them at 3 AM and they will deliver you whatever you like like T.I. but other times they will answer and take your order only to leave you patiently waiting in your living room until 4:30 before finally tossing in the towel. The other problem is it is in a slightly sketch part of town for pedestrian visits. You might run into a couple of wanksters trying to start something because you were staring at them sideways. And these kinds of people don’t take very kindly to you offering them a bite of your donair. Then in the streets there are also punk kids. And you can find yourself in the back of a paddy wagon on the way to the hospital staring at your thumb because it’s sideways. And you are regretting going outside to check on your boys without first getting a donair. All that without even mentioning the fact that the next morning you get one of the worst hangovers known to man. The donair hangover. And that spicy donair meat doesn’t come up as nice as it goes down. But despite all of these awful things that can happen I keep coming back. Revannas is an abusive husband that you always keep going back too because he is just so damn good in bed.
3. Street Meat-Hot dog shanties are littered around almost every city. Nothing soothes a tipsy tummy like a sausage with all the fix’ns. A particular favorite shanty of mine is the one out front of the dome, you can bounce from the dome grab a sausage scarf it and be back DFMing like nobodies business. Just think about bringing gum.
Honorable mention goes to the old Apple Barrel. Before that place shut down it was a solid place to go after the dome until any hour of the night, and they even had breakfast food. Unfortunately those bitch waitresses won’t serve mussels. They must have gone out of business from too many dine and dashes from drunken fools.
If you are really bold you can try more than one option of these in one night. The street meat pizza combo double team is always a solid choice. And remember that eating when you are drunk is almost always easier than the next morning when you are hung over. If you choose the kitchen be careful. And go out there and find food.
Eat Sleep and be REAL
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